Harbor Presbyterian Church - Uptown

“But You Promised Me!!”

Friendships that Make a Difference

1Samuel 20:1-42 

INTRODUCTION

We’ve been talking about living in the gap between promise and reality.  How do we handle life when we don’t experience what we want, or what we think we should have.  This takes on new meaning for David in this next section of 1Samuel.  In this text, David has to flee.  He is running away.   

Goliath was toppled by David’s faith.  So why is Saul besting him?  In the midst of all of this, David would be tempted to cry out to God, “But you promised me!”  Why do I have to run?  God where are you in all of this? 

When we think about that, I think this section of Samuel becomes incredibly practical for us.  Because how often do you feel that way?  Do you feel like you’ve been short-changed?  Do you wonder sometimes where are all the promises of God?  Why haven’t they come true?  Maybe you feel like, “I’ve been serving God all this time!  I’ve made sacrifices to do what he wants, and this is how he treats me?” 

You need this text.  Into David’s frustration and confusion, God sends a gift.  This gift gives him assurance, comfort, and hope.  This gift is Jonathan.  To anchor David in the midst of the growing chaos of his life, God gives David the friendship of Jonathan.   

As we see this friendship, we are gong to see a call to each of us to friend each other, and to learn to lean on our friends when we are tempted to give up. 

We see three stages in the friendship of Jonathan:

I.   Promised

II.   Tested

III. Confirmed 

1. Promised (v1-23)

SEE JONATHAN’S FRIENDSHIP AND ITS IMPACT SO YOU WOULD BE THIS TO OTHERS AND SEEK IT IN OTHERS. 

Jonathan’s promised friendship shows what true friendship is

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      1. Service:  v4.  Jonathan is committed to meeting David’s needs. 

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  Humility

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  Laying aside his own rights—he’s the crown prince.  He’s next in line!

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      2. Honesty:  v9—he is willing to tell David the difficult things. 
      3. Love:  v8—Hesed.

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  Love, compassion, affection, but often with the additional connotation of loyalty, reliability, faithfulness.  Not merely love, but loyal love; not merely kindness, but dependable kindness; not merely affection, but affection that has committed itself.

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  V13—swears to his own hurt.  Sacrificial love.

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      4. Faith:  v23—Jonathan is serving God.  This makes him predictable, trustworthy.  You can count on him.

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  Trusting God to care for him 

Don’t you want to have this kind of friend?  In David’s disintegrating world, there was yet one space of sanity, one refuge still intact—Jonathan.  With him was kindness in a raw world.   

David puts his life into Jonathan’s hands v8.  He fears Saul and fears that Saul may persuade Jonathan to abandon the friendship they have.  Where do you have this?  A friend?  In your community group?   

How do you get this? You need to get real with someone.  You need to be honest.  I remember very early in my Christian life, I had a friend. I remember we heard a sermon about real friendship, about spiritual friendship, and afterwards we were talking.  We both wanted this.  So we committed to each other to be this kind of friends.  It began with honesty. 

That’s the key—it’s honesty.  You need to get real with someone in your life.  The more honest you are, the more profound your friendship, and the more transforming they become.  It’s scary at first, but let me tell you: we all know it’s great to be loved.  But there is NOTHING like being KNOWN and loved.  Honesty, getting vulnerably honest—that’s what produces these kinds of friendships. 

2. Tested (v24-33)

SAUL’S RAGE REVEALS HIS IDOLATRY AND TEMPTS JON

JON BEATS THE TEMPTATION AND TRANSFORMS THE NATION 

In one sense, this plan is to test Saul to see where his heart is, but when Saul reacts, he becomes the one who tests Jonathan’s friendship to David.  When the chips are down, we find out how genuine our character is. 

Saul’s Rage—over losing his son—he bursts into rage when he sees and feels the extent to which Jonathan is joined with David.  David is slipping through my fingers!  And my son is helping! 

Saul’s fails the friendship test

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      1. He’s not serving, but he’s selfish.
      2. He’s not honest, he’s lying to protect himself.  He says in v31—you and your kingdom, but he’s not concerned for Jonathan at all.  In v33—he tries to kill Jonathan!  We see He concerned about himself. 
      3. He’s not loving, he cares only for himself

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  ***Saul shows his heart.  Really wants his own glory, not Jon’s.  His kingdom, status, career, legacy.  You?

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      4. He has no faith in God, but is only living for what he can see.

***This is the core.  He has a god, but it’s not God.  Davis—“In his rage, with blue veins bulging from his neck and red flush rising in his face, he shouted at Jonathan the only four words that mattered to him, the four words that showed what this was really all about:  “You and your kingdom.”” 

How will Jonathan respond?  Will he cave in?  Will he succumb?  Saul offers even to dispatch David for him.  That would clear the way and keep his hands clean. 

Jonathan’s Triumph—character is proven by actions

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      1. Service:  v32—Defends David
      2. Honesty:  v33—Jonathan finally knows the truth
      3. Love:  v33—Jonathan’s love puts him in danger

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    v34—Jonathan’s anger, grief, fasting show love

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      4. Faith:  v32,34—it was Jonathan’s trust in God that enabled him to oppose his father.  God would care for him.  Do you have that same trust?

Transformation—this is the character, the heart that changes the city. “You and your kingdom” did not move Jonathan.  He was set free from the idols and was free to love and serve David. 

One simply didn’t do what Jonathan does!  You didn’t hand over your place to your rival and promise to protect him, especially when your place was that of crown prince.  If Jonathan were “normal,” he would dispose of David.  Jonathan’s covenant commitment to David flies smack in the face of all political sense.  This is one of the strange things covenant accomplishes. 

That true life does not consist in securing “you and your kingdom” but in reflecting Yahweh’s faithfulness in covenant relationships.  There is something liberating about that!  Jonathan had acknowledged that the kingdom was Yahweh’s and therefore David’s, so his life did not need to be centered in his ambition (what can I get) but in God’s providence (what Yahweh has given).  Even as a believer and not as a crown prince my reigning passion is not to make my way, my living, or my mark, not to gain my place or to get ahead.  That may be costly; but it is certainly liberating.  Life does not consist in achieving your goals but in fulfilling your promises.   

One author said, “It’s tough to apply this passage today because we’re not living on the edge of a dynastic transition today.” This is not true—we are part of a regime change.  Jesus is reigning. Our lives can show that his reign is the best reign.  Our love, our freedom from idolatry, our faith show the goodness of king Jesus.  Every time you make a decision, act, speak in a way that reflects that you are following Jesus, his reign grows in the world.   

We are promoting a new way of living.  Not for yourself but for God.  This has a huge impact!  It’ll impact your perspective, your happiness.  It’ll also impact your relationships because you don’t have to get your way, only God’s way.  Your career—it’s about honoring God.  You won’t go hungry, you’ll be provided for.  This is true life, eternal life beginning today.  Don’t you want this?  

I know the fear.  What will it mean?  What will I do?  In my own life, I asked, “So what do I do?  I sit around and wait for God to call me?  Does he write me a letter?”  I was told that he has written me 66 letters—they are the books of the Bible.  I laughed and thought it was a silly answer, but it’s been right all along!   

I can’t tell you exactly how your life is going to turn out, but I can tell you that when you get a hold of this—everything changes.  Sometimes you feel like you’re along for the ride.  I’ve seen this happening with our Homeless ministry.  Mark was in 6 city council offices this week being praised for his ideas.  God’s power it loose through you and life is fun. 
 

2. Confirmed (v34-42)

ASSURANCE OF COVENANT FRIENDSHIP

LOVE AND GRIEF—BOTH ARE REALITY

JONATHAN SHOWS US JESUS’ HEART AND LIFE 

Jonathan’s reunion with David is sweeter because Jonathan has proved his devotion to David and to God.  The only thing sweeter than a covenant promise is a covenant confirmed.

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      1. Service:  v41—David bows because he knows he is at Jonathan’s mercy.  But Jonathan is still committed to him.
      2. Honesty:  v41b—they weep.  They face the grim reality of the situation:  David is going to have to run, to escape for his life.  Fokkelman—“This weeping is the only reciprocal one in the whole of Samuel.”  Don’t let anyone tell you that becoming a Christian will mean everything will work out right for you. This weeping shows clearly that danger, uncertainty and suffering are part of the life that follows God.  
      3. Love:  v41b—they kiss.  After 10:1 (a kiss of election, given by the prophet), that is the only kiss in 1Sam, and it is in fact the only kiss in the whole of Samuel which is a mutual kiss.  True love—continues to give each support and encouragement.
      4. Faith:  v42—Go in peace

Peace?  Yes!  DAVIS—“Given the circumstances Jonathan’s words could seem almost laughable.  “Go in peace”. But we know he’s serious… he’s not claiming that all is peaceful or that David will not meet danger on every hand.  Jonathan is saying that David can go in peace because there is peace between the two of them.  There is peace “because we two have sworn an oath.”  Their covenant bond has established peace between them.”  Jonathan’s commitment gives David courage to run away.  Jonathan will hold down the fort while he’s gone.   

 “Peace:  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” 

Where David trusted Jonathan with his life, now Jonathan trusts David with his future and the future of his children.  Again, not succumbing to the control idol of Saul, he trusts God to protect him. Jonathan’s faith in God’s promises.  He’ll need David to protect him.   

CONCLUSION

I want you to see Jonathan’s friendship because this is the kind of friendship that you need and so do the folks you know. 

But I want you to see Jonathan’s friendship because it’s also a picture of the friendship that Jesus offers to you.  Do you realize the wonder of this?  God would come and be a friend to you. 

“Jonathan” means “God has given” and there is no greater picture of this than Jesus himself.   

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      1. Service:  Jesus said he came not to be served, but to serve, and give his life a ransom for many.
      2. Honesty:  Jesus is honest enough to tell you the truth:  that you need God in your life.  That there are things that you need to make right.
      3. Love:  Greater love has no one that this, than he lay down his life for his friends.  God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. 
      4. Faith:  Jesus trusted God through death and was raised from the dead.  He endured the cross because he knew that this is what we needed.  He died to pay for our our idols, and he rose from the dead to set us free.  His death and resurrection calls you to believe.

If you’re not this kind of friend—you need to know that this is how God feels about you!  God himself loves you in this same way.  If you doubt, look at the cross.  It was for you! 

Dwell on his love for you and you will find out that these aren’t just promises, they are a confirmed covenant.   

Jesus’ love is promised and confirmed—on the cross.  When you realize this—when you remember it, remind yourself of it—you will find yourself loving other people like this.  It will grow in you.    

“We love, because he first loved us.”  Come to the cross, believe in Jesus, and God will pour his love out into your heart…